Last week Joshua had his welcome day at his school nursery. It’s a milestone that I never thought would arrive. One minute they’re only content when cuddling you and with a blink of an eye they respond to asking for a cuddle with “no your breath stinks of cabbage”.
I never considered myself to be the kind of mum that would be worried about him going to school but as much as we often joke “another 15 years and well be free” its absolutely terrifying that 3 years have gone so quickly and that ‘freedom’ will be here much sooner than we thought. *hears glasses clinking on an exotic beach in the distance*
When I decided to spend 9 months out of work with Joshua, other than the guilt I felt for leaving Ryan to be the sole provider, I was super excited and grateful to spend that time making memories together.
“We’ll go on picnics every day, have play dates and venture out to explore the world together”. “I’ll conquer motherhood and then go back to building a career and just smash life in general, easy peasy”.
“ha ha ha you are wrong” said the fat controller.
We’ve obviously had a lot of fun times, but nobody told me just how tedious it would be at other times! Nobody told me how a three year old likes to complete a jigsaw, take it apart and re-build it. 16 TIMES. Nobody told me that my child would approach me with a toy and say ‘lets play’ and then each time I try he would debate “No mum! He doesn’t say that, he says …”
Nobody told me that an ice lolly is NEVER a good idea if you’re not within toddler-carrying distance of a shower, and that no matter how many times you say ‘yeah just give me a second’ .. they will take it literally and ask you the exact same thing a second later.
Nobody told me that I would turn into a middle aged mother saying things like “BECAUSE I SAID SO” and “If you don’t eat your tea you won’t be having any pudding” and “If you pick your nose your brain will fall out”
Nobody told me that I would hear the phrase “I want…” twelve times an hour and “well thats not fair, I’m going to my room” at least twice a day.
As much as I sit here and worry about how hard its going to be finding a job that works around our family schedule and settling in to something new the same time as Joshua, I can’t pretend I’m not super excited to have a conversation that doesn’t include a Disney character.
Im excited for the next milestone to begin – For Joshua to tell me all about his day at school and about what games he’s been playing with his friends. Im excited for him to make friends that he’ll know for the next 13 years or so and have those friends over for sleepovers. Im excited to take him to football matches and his friends parties and world book day and attend assemblies and school fares and the class nativity (Joshua’s teacher said she already wants Joshua as Joseph haha!)
And I can’t wait for a new start for myself either. Adult conversation, organisation, routine and generally just feeling like I’m doing my part. Im excited to feel less of a failure and of course to have that extra income that I spent a year working for just to pay our on nursery fees.
Its always nice to have a fresh start and to reach a new milestone.
Im excited to watch my son become a young man, but I guarantee a month into school/working i’ll be wanting to come home and do that gruffalo jigsaw 16 times in a row.